Relationships are so beautiful, but also a lot of work. A lot of people think that the key to a happy and long-lasting relationship is compromise and I fully agree. Let me tell you which things you should and should not compromise on for your happy relationship.
Do not compromise on…
… your core values
A friend told me a couple of years ago after a breakup that the key to a happy relationship is to find somebody who shares the same core values. He made me sit down and make a list what these values are. Make sure that you find somebody who matches these values and shares the same morals.
… your life goals.
Never give up on your dreams. Whether it is for that you want to have a family, focus on your career only or juggle both, for example, it is important that you find the perfect match. And trust me, I know how hard it can be. But at least for me it was important to never compromise on these values and what I wanted to achieve in my life and have a partner who shares the same vision or can understand me.
… commitment and level of compromise.
It is important that both partners are equally committed: it is like pulling on a rope, if one person only pulls to much and the other one lets go of the rope, you should sit down with your partner and discuss the reasons. This article is all about making compromises. But it is important that it should be equal. It may not always be 50-50: sometimes you compromise more and next time your partner. But in the long-run it should be equal. If there is a serious imbalance, I would question if this is the right thing for me.
Do compromise on …
… the small things.
Is it really worth fighting over small things like “you did not bring the trash outside yesterday”? There will always be small things that are not perfect. It is important to talk about them but I learned that the bigger picture is too important and I did not want to jeopardize it because of small things.
… hobbies and interests.
Definitely stick to the hobbies and interests you love. But also be open to your other half’s. It does not mean that you have to become a soccer fan over night or that you have to start watching all the games with him. But show some interest in his hobbies. Maybe you are convinced by one of his hobbies and it turns out to be a great activity to do together. Or the two of you decide to do stuff on your own. Another idea is to find new hobbies together.
… where you spend Christmas, Chinese New Year and other holidays.
This is often a very emotional topic because everyone wants to spend these days with their family. Most of the couples I know switch every year. Or they invite both families to their house. Or, simply date somebody with a different cultural background, then you never get to fight about this 😀 😀
Do you agree with my tips? What is your experience or would you add here? I would love to here from you!